flo + FFX

i'm so heavy

heavy

heavy in your arms

I am blessed for I do not require my feet to carry me beyond these four walls

MISS YOU CRAZY FUCKIN BRITS

strangest day of forever

1. i have one long line bruise on each of my legs. they match. i got them while jumping on my counter island without my hands.

2. i fell down the stairs this morning. serious. like 4/5 steps. i was no longer tired after that. i also landed the way spiderman would land if he ever fell down stairs. yes, i seriously contemplated this for more than 5 minutes.

3. i was called by a person i was told would only email be back in a week if i was lucky to hear back within 30 minutes. then i also found out he knew some people in my extended family.

4. my obese doggy lost 10 lbs and is finally below the 100lb line. i honestly thought it was an april fools joke in october.

5. i keep eating british things i haven't had in over 3 months.

6. thank oprah i'm still alive.

reality is always more strange than fiction. i feel bad for whomever is the exception for that rule.

Found this 3 years ago ... still never gets old!

"having a personal party in there?" YEP.

Fang Island "Life Coach"

WHAT A CUTIE.

yeah, he's brown. he's a clam. get used to it.

still have no idea why they made him a person but i must admit, I LOVE THIS.

my, how 4 years haven't changed! HAHAHAHAHHA

&&&&&&&: INTERRUPTION
**********: homework time :-\
&&&&&&&: you can interrupt me if you want. it would be lovely.
**********: ohhh _______

Auto response from &&&&&&&&&: aa;wlefijsodkjflekjsoelxk
&&&&&&&: ohhhh a-bom-ination
**********: hahaha
**********: that was a good one
**********: how awkward is _______'s life right now?
&&&&&&&: on a scale of 1- swoop running around campus today, it's approaching infinity
**********: hahaha
**********: hanging out with the sand-sand man
**********: (friends reference)
&&&&&&&: hahahahah
&&&&&&&: it'd be funny if we walked into their room with a boombox blasting 'sandstorm'
&&&&&&&: only, he wouldn't get it
**********: hahaha
&&&&&&&: and holding a carton of milk
**********: dude shit yeah
**********: i can bring my special k
&&&&&&&: yessss
&&&&&&&: and ill bring my symbols!
&&&&&&&: i . need to be educated. about the cymbols.
**********: i'll bring my triangle
**********: oh wait, that's the wrong instrument
&&&&&&&: SWEET, i know how to play that one
&&&&&&&: and maybe he can play us a little tunesky on his oboe
&&&&&&&: oh wait, your mom
**********: haha i bet his mom doesn't have rhythm either
**********: i wonder how she takes her oatmeal. . .
&&&&&&&: a;lkdjfhjsklpoeirufhvcxz
&&&&&&&: i bet she takes it like a CHAMP
**********: that's what he said
&&&&&&&: hahahaha
&&&&&&&: i meannn, she gave birth to a boy who eats breakfast for dinner and is sporting a unibrow
&&&&&&&: if that doesn't say champpp i dont know what does
**********: AND she named him sander
**********: clearly he is destined for a career in carpentry
&&&&&&&: plus, HAVE YA SEEN THOSE ARMS???
**********: weakkkk
&&&&&&&: i meannn, his name is an occupATION for cryin out loud
&&&&&&&: this shit is weeeeeak
**********: haha
**********: it's not even a good occupation
**********: she should've named him "lawyer"
&&&&&&&: hahahah
**********: or "doctor"
&&&&&&&: its like one of the shittiest ones out there
**********: i don't even know if there are even people whose job it is to specifically sand things
**********: or is that like, a guy who carries sand and sprinkles it on shit?
&&&&&&&: i mean, there are only so many pieces of furniture out there
&&&&&&&: aslkdfjslkjeslkd
**********: maybe he could go work on the rain forest
**********: i hear it's pretty rough out there
&&&&&&&: sander= person with a shitty job, sandMAN= some creep people made up as a cover for the effects of nyquil
&&&&&&&: i dont want to be dusted with sand at night
**********: especially not by him
&&&&&&&: seriously....that would make it atLEAST ten times harder to sleep
**********: "it's the SANDman"
&&&&&&&: whoever thought up the sandman was slightly retarted
&&&&&&&: hahahahhaah
**********: i think the sandman is slightly retarded
&&&&&&&: can you imagine waking up to that?
&&&&&&&: this is true
**********: oh my god, i'm going to have nightmares
&&&&&&&: i think the sandman should be locked up
&&&&&&&: he's essentially a rapist, with sand
&&&&&&&: im not a fan.
**********: i hope he isn't raping people with the sand
**********: i mean, if glitter is the herpes of craft supplies. . .
&&&&&&&: i wonder if the sand is actually a roofie
&&&&&&&: HAHAH
**********: lots of tiny rufies?
&&&&&&&: so does that make
&&&&&&&: ________'s room
&&&&&&&: crime alert # 8?
&&&&&&&: aslkdjfskld
**********: hahaha
**********: should we do something?
**********: i do hate sand though
&&&&&&&: hahahaha
&&&&&&&: if each grain of sand is a rufie
**********: that's a shit ton of rufies
&&&&&&&: he could potentially rufie the whole world
**********: hahaha
&&&&&&&: WHAT THE FUCK
**********: or at least a lot of dwarves
&&&&&&&: he needs to be stopped!
**********: what stops sand?
**********: maybe he's like an hour glass and we can just flip him over
&&&&&&&: NOTHING
&&&&&&&: this guy is SMART
&&&&&&&: hahahhah
&&&&&&&: "YOU, man who just broke into my room, let me hold you and flip you upside down."
**********: hahaha
**********: wow &&&&&&& i didn't know you wanted to hold him
**********: is the kinky sex bar involved in this maneuver?
&&&&&&&: laksdfsledk
&&&&&&&: gagging
&&&&&&&: i think we could help by protecting the rocks
&&&&&&&: since those make sand
**********: haha
&&&&&&&: so im thinking.....drain the ocean
&&&&&&&: lofty goals, but a-bomb and kville can handle it
**********: hahaha
**********: that's how we roll, son
&&&&&&&: WE NEED TO STOP EROSION
**********: stopping sand rapists one rock at a time?
&&&&&&&: should that be our motto?
&&&&&&&: should we make flyers?
**********: haha maybe it should be "NO SANDSTORM ALLOWED"
**********: can you imagine the sandstorm?
&&&&&&&: it might be dangerous, what if the sand man finds us on the way to the copier?
**********: that's like, sand rapist fest
&&&&&&&: HAHAH
&&&&&&&: i can't believe
&&&&&&&: we've just had like a half hour conversation on sander cymbols
**********: hahaha
&&&&&&&: hahhahah
&&&&&&&: sander mannn
**********: what a creeep
&&&&&&&: who? sander? I KNOW!
**********: hahaha
**********: sander mann
**********: i'm dying
&&&&&&&: maybe we should leave a trail of quaker oats
&&&&&&&: off the planet
**********: shit yeah
**********: float him out into outer space
**********: where he can sand-rape the sun
**********: and turn into glass
&&&&&&&: or like
&&&&&&&: hahahah
&&&&&&&: set up 7 games of guitar hero in rebecca's room
&&&&&&&: and intimidate him the fuck out of there
**********: maybe we should go see if we can kick his ass in guitar hero
**********: and turn him back into rocks
**********: i mean, he's as dumb as rocks already
&&&&&&&: hahahah
&&&&&&&: or write on their board: PEOPLE WHO HAVE NO RHYTHM and WHOSE NAME STARTS WITH 'S' AND RHYMES WITH 'DANDER' are not prohibited
**********: why don't we just say "WELCOME RAPISTS OF ALL KINDS"
&&&&&&&: alskdjfksd

so fresh and so CLEAN.

AIM IM with A\**^*^%
11:08 PM
did k____ come back yet?
yes she did
oh damn i forgot
hold on
i'll work some magic
lol
nice
good job
slick
thanksss, i'm classy
i'm going to change my pic soon
i've just grown attached to the other
lol
i've had it up what ... 13 hours
?
that's practially forever
11:10 PM
it's done
hahaha
oh _____
you have to look at thepic
i have talked to k___
she thinks you're mad
lol
nice
and you and c___ are miffed
haha ok
look at the left corner
where his hand is
FREAKISHLY SMALL HANDS
ITS BECAUSE I WAS HOLDING THE LAPTOP FUNNY
!!!
BWHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH!!
HAHAHA
that looks so creepy
his head is huge
maybe it's not just me
lol
maybe your computer is prejudiced again small hands people
lol
that might be it

that was my ex bf
look at what i'm missing ...
hahahahah
!!
The AIM service could not send the message: [hresult 0x8000FFFF]
wait ...
11:15 PM
The AIM service could not send the message: [hresult 0x8000FFFF]
Unable to connect to proxy. Try again.

Angsty! Double O-7 Style

Maybe I wont be your everything
But we can’t know that now
I need to say, you mean the world to me
And, please, let me show you how
You constantly keep me guessing
But, at times, can be read like a book
And with your sometimes crooked smile
I think, my heart, you took
Your ideas of fun entertain me
And make me laugh nonstop
Though was sad when you got in trouble
Or bad when it involved the cops
I don’t think you realize
How much fun I had
When we would just sit on the couch
And joke about the lives we had
The chaotic lives we led
So different on the outside
And through it all, I can’t deny
We really kind of tried
Yes, we had our issues
That we didn’t seem to voice
We could have been more honest
But chose the other choice
Though I could have been more trusting
I think we’re both at blame
I often hid my real opinion
While you just went on, the same
I knew what you were saying
While you gave me “the shrug” and face
You were avoiding the subject
Until it was lost in space
I wouldn’t push your patience
And didn’t want you to be mad
But I wish I sometimes I’d pushed you
What an odd relationship we had!
We weren’t all “lovey-dovey”
Or did PDA all over the place
We held hands and we were happy
With a light kiss and a smiling face

untitled.

Rise up my love
And embrace me and my discord
My chaos of life and words
In a tumble of lights and sounds
And clasp them in tight

Flowed right for at least a year

Desolate I am without a love to guide me
Until we meet I cannot stop to breathe
Never has it been like this, this waning
Clam thoughts do not grace my brow
And I fear that I might not be enough
Never to make you think this is everlasting love or
Share this single life with you
Please hear my call and listen my dear stranger
Or at least indulge me in my fancies when we meet
Ever more may I be lost but, I hope, one day, you find
Me

reasons to be alive

Mickey Avalon's "Jane Fonda"

I had a baby named Jane
she could shake that thing
said her daddy used to hang with Johnny Coltrane
she sang the soul train with a friend named Jen
her booty was bigger than a Mercedes Benz
Jen was a hurty burty dirty little girlie
I heard it from a birdie she could cook a mean turkey
with gravy
Baby Baby Baby...
Baby was Jen's best friend
and maybe if you were lucky
licky licky sucky sucky
Mickey Mickey, fuck me fuck me
more junk in her trunk than a Honda
I know you wanna do the Jane Fonda

One, two, three, four
get your booty on the dance floor
work it out, shake it little momma
lemme see you do the Jane Fonda
five, six, seven, now
if you don't know, let me show you how
to work it out, work it little momma
I know you wanna do the Jane Fonda

I had a princess, queen of incest
she was inbred but Jean had big breasts
and big eyes and a big ass to match
Jean wasn't fast, she was easy to catch
then came Molly
a hood from Hollywood High
so fly she was transatlantic
she was a manic depressive
[manic depressive]
which was impressive
very impressive
I had to test it
tasted like chicken and was lemon scented
she took me home to her mama
I taught 'em both how to Jane Fonda

One, two, three, four
get your booty on the dance floor
work it out, shake it little momma
lemme see you do the Jane Fonda
five, six, seven, now
if you don't know, let me show you how
to work it out, work it little momma
I know you wanna do the Jane Fonda

I had a doll named Dana from Santa Ana
she was a waitress at the Copa Cabanna
she was slammin' and her ass was jammin'
like Janet Jackson in the Rhythm Nation
her brother jason had a girl named Grace
and you could see her ass from outer space
so I landed on her planet
and I planted a Mickey Av flag in it, dammit!

One, two, three, four
get your booty on the dance floor
work it out, shake it little momma
lemme see you do the Jane Fonda
five, six, seven, now
if you don't know, let me show you how
to work it out, work it little momma
I know you wanna do the Jane Fonda

One, two, three, four
get your booty on the dance floor
work it out, shake it little momma
lemme see you do the Jane Fonda
five, six, seven, now
if you don't know, let me show you how
to work it out, work it little momma
I know you wanna do the Jane Fonda

One, two, three, four
get your booty on the dance floor
work it out, shake it little momma
lemme see you do the Jane Fonda
five, six, seven, now
if you don't know, let me show you how
to work it out, work it little momma
I know you wanna do the Jane Fonda

One, two, three, four
get your booty on the dance floor
work it out, shake it little momma
let me see you do the Jane Fonda
five, six, seven, now
if you don't know, let me show you how
to work it out, work it little momma
I know you wanna do the Jane Fonda

TAR BALLS THE SIZE OF ELEPHANTS.

RIGHT.

I love you Sandestin.

And how could I forgot you? You cheesey 80's themed 5 story home. You had some really odd artwork and did nothing for all the screaming children but, damn, you sure had a beautiful beach. And yes, I'm only saying this cause I know you are getting renovated. Vain.

enjoy yourself, damn it.

well, i've been working 4 days a week and the other 3 either relaxing or driving and i have to say, stress is a bitch.

and i'm a little pissed off at stress.

cause of stress, i feel like a part of my summer was wasted.

and i'll never get it back.

and now that i think about it, i don't regret it.

cause i dont' think i'd want to ever change it.

confusing, huh?

this apparently promotes korean awareness

in london. by the strand. the norm?

i hope that isn't a curse word ...

Tate Modern, London

amuraka.

Cooties.

Well, finally got to see my boyfriend for the first time in an eternity ... damn did I miss him. More than he'd ever know.

Now that I'm back in the states, I've had some odd cravings and personal discoveries:

- I've sworn off coffee, as much as it pains me to do (and to drink)

- IHOP is out to liquify my brain

- Cleaning out your closest is not something that should be practiced without a helmet

- Sweatshirts are the hogs of the clothing world

- London is one of my favorite cities ever

- If Morgan Freedman voiced the Underground, there would be no more jumpers

- I WANT PRET

- I'll watch just about anything as long as it's on television ... even muscle car auctions

- My father does the same thing I do ... fall asleep on the floor then swear up and down that he didn't then does it again seconds later and starts snoring

- Though not everyone was ano in Europe, we sure do have a lot of Fat People in America ... especially at Walmart as my grandmother so kindly pointed out

- You don' know panic until you are talking on the phone about drug allergies while 3 people 75+ are trying to walk into your house and Lowe's is trying to deliver a cracked tub, a washer, a dryer, and god knows what else into your garage ranting something about gas hook ups

- My patients have worn thin with things like traffic lights and cashier lines

- I love my life

I love my life, I'm fortunate to live the way I do, and I'm happy.

Not many people can say that they are happy but, at the same time, not many people want to.

LIVE YOUR LIFE <3>

a scary discovery ...

St. Paul's, London

Frankfurt am Main, Germany

Life with just a pinch of angst.

Soooo Led Zepplin is pretty amazing. Because of that, I was inspired by a song of theres ...

Dancing Days -

Dancing by the fire

Our emotions goin’ higher

Throwin’ wood upon the pyre

High and pointing like a spire

We’ve reached the breaking point

What is wrong and what is right

Lose all meaning in the light

As we sacrifice the night

Our shallow, selfish ways

Will all vanish in the haze

As we dance our dizzying maze

‘cause our wildness still remains

Our twirling, swirling limbs

Spin and wipe away our sins

Yet mouths betray us with their grins

‘cause the devil always wins

There’s no angels here tonight

In our sacrificial right

They have run away in fright

Too scared to look upon the sight

Smoke and sparks are blowing up

As we dance in soot and smut

Pirouetting in the muck

As our bodies writhe and buck

The fire builds with leaps and bounds

Swelling with our snorts and sounds

Eating underbrush in pounds

Till nothing’s left but ashen mounds

Still we sing our pealing cry

Mouths wide and open towards the sky

Our arms are spread like we can fly

But too close to the sun our wings will fry

Alas the sun is rising bright

As we stop our dance in the morning light

Faces turn eastward, ready to fight

This angry pagan full and alight

"BELGIANS IN THE CONGO."

You know what, I love music. And you know what else? That might be an understatement. I fuckin' love music. Music is my life and it started even before my birth. Actually, lets start AT my birth: before my parents left, my dad insisted on playing "Also Sprach Zarathustra" before helping my mom into the car. It was on a record. That shows real patients on my mother's part. Next, in the friggin OPERATING ROOM they had a boom box playing so loud that my mom essentially went into panic mode which then made the Anesthesiologist who was talking to her insist that it be turned off and everyone GET OUT. Damn.

Then, as a screaming baby, my parents would put on monster headphones and crank up the tunes to zone out. Later they learned that if they put the headphones on me, I'd shut up. Because of this, I was later so conditioned by the headphones that music didn't even need to play to get me to shut my yapper. I was like one of Pavlov's dogs. Thanks, Mom and Dad.

To fast forward a bit, I got a brother. Okay, NBD. Now, we stop when I was about 4 years old. We have home video of my brother and me dancing up a STORM to "We Didn't Start the Fire." (unintentional pun on the name of the album, "Storm Front.")

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9cci8iWv-g

THIS SONG MOVED MOUNTAINS. IT UNIFIED AND IT DIVIDED. IT CARPE DIEM'ED ALL OVER THE PLACE. Needless to say, I loved it, and it loved me. My brother and I rocked it would our killer dance moves. The bottle he was holding and my pigtails only added to the greatness.

To continue, this song is the shit. Sir William Joel (thank you Office) came out with a fabulous album the year I was born making it the best album of all time (Closely followed by Sabrina the Teenage Witch Soundtrack, Nirvana's "Nevermind," and Spice Girls' "Spice World.")

Sorry for the rambling but from bars in Sandestin, FL to the streets of Tokyo, people should know and sing this song for many reasons:

1. It's a world history lesson.

2. It's an american history lesson.

3. It shows how time perpetuates itself.

4. It's sung by Billy Fuckin' Joel.

5. It's fun to sing drunk in a bar.

6. "What else do I have to say?"!!!

Please, if you haven't listened to it recently just bust it out. So what it's from the 80's and a ton more shit has happened since then. It's still amazing and carries that wonderful message everyone should understand:

"WE DIDN'T START THE FIRE / IT'S BEEN ALWAYS BURNIN' SINCE THE WORLD'S BEEN TURNIN'."

PS isn't the "Belgians in the Congo" part like, the best part of the song after "JFK / BLOW AWAY / WHAT ELSE DO I HAVE TO SAY?" If you are not playing air guitar or singing your lungs out while scrunching up your face, you are a buzzkill. Live a little bit :)

For all the other office fans out there :) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JPcuwZlJShE

Your MADGEesty.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lA983t3Rdzs < Video for your enjoyment.

Okay, we need to confront the strange coincidence of everyone in my generation knowing "Like A Prayer" and pretty much calling it the first Madonna song they ever knew. What? Really? Cause I feel the same way. Who cannot remember her at the waxy feet of that statue to suddenly have him come of and Madonna be like "Wha??"

This album, "Like A Prayer" also held such singles as "Express Yourself" and then other's I don't know. This album was also released 1989 (same year that "We didn't start the fire" was released but that's another story). Why do I remember this so well from the 90's? Was it playing on repeat on VH1?? Was it getting serious radio play 5/6 YEARS after it was released? No. Idea.

Also, though doubt how accurate Wkipedia is, apparently PRINCE played guitar on the track "Like A Prayer" but didn't get recognized on the album. I think my brain just exploded all over my face. WHAT? REALLY? The dude that sang "Darling Nikki" was also up in this stuff? Was this the time that he was PRINCE or was he just a symbol? Sooo many unanswered questions for me to look up but halfway through get distracted and switch to facebook. Oh Facebook, how thou are the bane of my existence.

But, again, off topic.

Wikipedia also says that part of this song was used in a Pepsi commercial around the time of it's release. How these two things are related, I haven't an idea.

I think my favorite part about this is how pissed off a lot of people got when they watched that video. Chill Bigots, Chill (thank you Gordon Brown for making me want to use this word more today). This reminds me a lot of this article I read about students and how a class room had both Black and White Santa's come in on different days. According to that article, these kids also had their brains explode all over their faces. In the end, everything worked out and there was no scaring (as far as we know at least).

I like the video. I like the church. I dislike him getting beaten but, who does like that? NO ONE. My point exactly. Other than that, Madonna probably had some deep reason for the video but I don't care. I like it for what it is and the memories I have: dancing around my living room singing at the top of my lungs. I still do this.

Also, after reading more on wikipedia I came across this: "The video features Madonna as a woman who witnesses the murder of a white girl by three white men, and the arrest of a black man who attempted to intervene and save the victim, but was falsely accused of the crime. After his arrest, Madonna flees to the church for safety, and afterward testifies the black man's innocence." Didn't take it that way at all. I just thought he was a black christ. You know what, I'm still going to think that.

PS Thanks Glee for doing a cover. It's pretty good but I still don't understand why you bothered a whole choir to come in and perform it when it was just for rehearsal.

PPS Thanks Wikipedia for making me doubt you yet use you at the same time.

Dangerous is what Dangerous Does

Yeah, so far, living in the UK has been great but now, all I'm really thinking about doing is leaving it.

That sounds bad but right now, I'm becoming poor and I miss my family and friends. You know what this means? I'm becoming a winey baby at the moment and need to quit my bitchin'! After logging into my Virgin Atlantic account yesterday, I was shocked to be greeted with: 25 days, 2 hours, 22 minutes until your next flight with us!

WOW, THEY'RE EXCITED TOO???!? Well, as I'm checking now, it says: 24 days, 4 hours, 6 minutes. WHOOO HOOO! To be honest, this is deceiving. That's the day I get to the wonderful state of New Jersey, not my home sweet home of Ohio (ppffhhh right.). Home sweet Home isn't for: 26 days 1 hour, 15 minutes by my calculations. Since they're mine and we're talking about airlines, give it a margin of error of a couple hours in either direction. I'm not being a downer, I'm being realist. Doesn't everyone remember the EJF:EUGH:JGJLJlfuah;oiaewjfgeaw;ofij;aweijf Volcano going off and f-ing everyone in the a that tried to fly in Europe? I sure do. My dad does too: He had to take a 16 hour taxi ride from Sweden to France. OH YEAH, THAT'S FUN. To add insult to injury, I doubt all those post cards I sent 3 and a half weeks ago have made it to their destinations. £10.22 sort of well spent? Jury's out. 3 have arrived as far as I know. 12 are still MIA.

Btw, wasn't my spelling of that volcano spot on? Eyjafjallajokull ... mine was close! I'm pretty sure they did the same thing I did when naming that volcano: button mash the hell out of their keyboard. I don't blame them. I plan to do that very same thing with my first child. Ben Jonathan? HELL NO. KY:OJ:Je;lja;elijf; Yhhahahkk. And you know what? I think they're going to thank me. I mean, sure, they wont find any key chains with their names on them but who really wants that now? What kid really needs a keychain anyway? Other than a house key, what are these kids getting into? Cars? Neighbor's shed? Going to the Batcave? I don't think so.

Finally, I just want to say, London, it's been fun. You're stuck with me a bit longer. Thanks for trying all you can to make me go crazy by stopping all 3 possible tube lines I could take to get anywhere and leaving me with replacement bus service. Good to know I'm going to get nowhere fast and possibly lost like the first time I tried your "system." You might have won this day, and you might also have won tomorrow since it's a Bank Holiday but I will win the war. Plus, Bakerloo is open tomorrow which means I can get the hell out of this place. Thanks a bunch! CHEERS.


^Yep, that's kind of what I expected it to look like.

I got a little exited and forgot to post it ...

Totally normal. Oh, you silly Brits!

that's typical

of course the link wouldn't post ....

here it is again: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WZ88oTITMoM

OMG YOU COULD FIT A WHOLE OTHER NIGHT STAND IN HERE!!

Sure, if I don't like standing.

Someone told me last night that I should have grown up in the 60's/70's.

It's just my generation has yet to leave their mark.

But damn, sometimes I wish I was there.

Appreciate your elders and love this song ... it's inspirational for all the wrong reasons.



She don’t see that Momma’s cryin’
Cause she knows her baby’s dyin’
Cannot make her seem to care
Whorin’ herself out on the square
Hey, girl, take a walk on the wild side

Danny’s lovin’ his sweetie Jane
Even through affairs it was the same
Danny loves while Janie spreads
Till Danny put a gun to his head
Hey, Dan, take a walk on the wild side

He’s runnin fast though he can’t see
There’s cars a comin’ on down the street
His drink in hand, his swagger sure
Those headlights sure make his seeing swirl
Hey, boy, take a walk on the wild side

Smiling hard is what people see
From GracieAnn in Tennessee
Those southern girls can make it last
But behind closed doors, she has no class
Hey, bells, take a walk on the wild side

Thinkin’ long about her life
She ain’t listen to all their strife
In the woods alone she walks
Till Mr. Wolf beings his stalks
Hey, there, take a walk on the wild side

What the hell is that title?

Back in those happy days of yesteryears, my family and the family next door built go-karts. and by go-karts, i mean plywood with wheels and a rope to steer.

so one day, we're messing around and the other guy next door (tim) had a friend who lived up the street (alex). tim really wanted to get alex with his new super soaker cause we were tired of being targets. what does he do then? he gets matt, his younger bro and my younger bro matt to drag him up the street in their go-kart. low and behold, alex is outside. the plan is so far, flawless.

what happens next is priceless: alex watches as the matts drag tim past his drive way, do a u-turn, then tim yells "sucker!" and blasts him in the face with the squirt gun. now, at this point, the matts are tired. they just dragged tim's fat ass up 2 hills to get here. tim, not caring about the hills yells "RUN DUMBASSES" and the matts are only sorta slowly pull/pushing the cart back down the street.

"OMG THIS IS THE SLOWEST DRIVE-BY EVER." yells tim. needless to say, alex was left, stunned, quickly got his wits about him, and quickly overtook them. and by quickly, i mean he had to jog 10 feet and jumped on the front of the go-kart insisting on being the hood ornament.

i'm really glad i got to witness this cause for some reason, i cherish this stuptastic memory. boys are stupid but fun to watch. this goes for then, for now, and for the future.

now that i've set the mood, this blog is for stupid shit and random thoughts. ENJOY. i know i am.